Being a parent is hard work. Single parenting is harder in some ways, and is arguably one of the most difficult forms of parenting there is – for a number of reasons.

One major issue is childcare and its associated cost. For children attending daycare, the costs can be enormous, especially when the parent makes a low income. According to the department of labor, women generally earn less than men, so income matters.

While staying at home is often a wiser financial decision (saving money on childcare), it’s difficult to find jobs for single mothers that pay the necessary bills.

Another problem for single mothers is the much-needed time off from work during the end of pregnancy or immediately postpartum. Though it’s illegal for an employer to fire a woman for taking maternity leave, it can happen, especially at smaller companies or for women who don’t know their rights.

And what about breastfeeding? Mothers get so many strong messages that “breast is best,” but maternity leave is usually only about 12 weeks…nowhere near the 1 year of breastfeeding recommending by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and a far cry from the 2-year recommendation of the World Health Organization.

The Internet, for now, provides a way for single mothers to remain at home and have a more flexible lifestyle while raising children. Though I haven’t worked hard enough to make a living online, it is possible (according to the many “friends” I’ve met online…not all of whom were trying to sell me something).

People can work at home as virtual assistants, freelance writers/editors, bloggers, Internet marketers, call center representatives, medical billing workers, transcriptionists, and more. It’s all a matter of finding something you’re interested in, and having a financial cushion to help while establishing your business.

Here on Crayon Writer, I’ve sort of been spinning my wheels. I tend to try too many tactics at one time. I’m a wannabe blogger, freelance business writer, freelance magazine writer, and internet marketer. Some of that is simply my personality (I enjoy multitasking), but it’s also a sign of failing to make a decision.

If you work from home, whether as a parent (single or not), or not, did you make a decision to focus on one income stream? If you diversify, how do you give it your all with the various methods you choose?

For those of you who’ve been reading Crayon Writer for a while, you know I strongly want to homeschool or even unschool my now five-year-old daughter. As a single mother, though, I recognize that we need time apart, so I enrolled her in preschool when she was a little older than three.

Preschool worked out off and on, and I still felt that I was primarily homeschooling. I purposely chose preschools that were strongly play-based, so the academics were light. My daughter has been learning to read and do math at home for the most part, and she very smart too.

As the big 5 approached, I started interviewing various play-based kindergartens and even the local public school. In the end, I decided to send her back to her preschool so she could continue to play while I taught her at home.

But to my surprise, a couple of weeks ago my little one announced that she wanted to go to kindergarten, not “play” school, and she didn’t want me to teach her at home!! All of a sudden I had to scramble for a school. The play-based kindergarten programs I found were okay, but either far away or had days that were too short.

Believe it or not, despite my strong objections to the “traditional” school philosophy, my daughter will start at a regular, public kindergarten this week! And she’s thrilled. Me…not so much. My issues with traditional schooling involve homework, grades, testing, “socialization” aka peer pressure and bullying/teasing, and extrinsic motivational techniques.

A little background: I have been a substitute teacher (which included several teacher-of-record jobs) for more than 7 years, and I’m currently in teaching certification program. I know how much standards, grades, and tests are stressed, and I’ve seen what negative effects schooling can have on children. Despite my professional aspirations, it seems to me that school is primarily a method to create conforming citizens who tend to go along with the masses. Not what I want for my child.

On the other hand, I went through public schooling, and I came out with a very open and questioning mind, probably because of my parents’ influence. So it’s likely that my daughter will be similar too.

This week will be the beginning of a new adventure. I’m sure I’ll be a regular volunteer at her school (gotta keep an eye on things), and maybe kindergarten won’t suck the fun out of learning (like I imagine it might).

The important thing is that I’m following my daughter’s lead. I’m letting her have a say so in how she wants to be educated (within reason), which is still in the spirit of unschooling. As long as she’s happy and safe, I’ll let her chart her own path. It’s tough being a parent!

Today I took my daughter to storytime at a local library, and we finally got her a library card of her own. Now I have to find the time and energy to fit in some more quality unschooling activities. Luckily, at her age all we really need to do is spend time together, and I can just introduce life to her as it happens.

She’s not “behind” academically either…she knows her letters, numbers, colors, shapes, some words, and some phonics, and some basic math. And with a biologist for a mother, she knows quite a bit about science and nature.

The rest of the day we’ll probably do some pretending, and I might even break out the Chutes and Ladders or Candyland. And if we ever get around to straightening up the house, she can help me fold clothes and vacuum.

As for me, when she’s finally in bed I’ll drag out my school book and start working on some assignments (due on Sunday).

What do you do for your unschooling preschool days?

As I mentioned last time, I decided to go back to school to get my teaching certification. When I enrolled, my plan was to eventually become a classroom teacher. My thought process was that my daughter would soon be starting school, and by being a teacher I would have the same vacations and similar hours.

What I didn’t count on was that the more I learned about the field of education, the more I’d want to homeschool my daughter.

But that’s what happened! So now I’m really and truly on the path to homeschooling my daughter. My method as a preschool homeschooler will be “unschooling.” Lots of time at parks, libraries, grocery stores, museums, and other unstructured activities. There’s plenty for her to learn while just living.

Just to be on the safe side, I recently enrolled her in the neighborhood school’s kindergarten class. But when I interviewed the principal of this “excelling” school, he went on and on about how much the children learn, how well they’re able to read and write, and just gushed about their academic program.

My response? When do they play??

Turns out there isn’t much play in most kindergarten anymore, even though it’s what 5-year-olds need. I dis-enrolled her shortly after.

My plan as a single homeschooling parent? For kindergarten I’m going to enroll her in a play-based preschool that accepts older kids, so when she needs to play with other kids she has a place to go. I’ll take care of the academics.  I will be investigating a play-based kindergarten program I found in town (a charter school), but I have a feeling it won’t fit the bill (besides, they want her to go to school every day). After that, we’ll see.

Am I still a writer? Definitely, though it’ll take a backseat to my studies and homeschooling. At the same time, I’ll need more than just student loans to pay the bills. So stay tuned for my single homeschooling saga.

Are you homeschooling? Have you considered it?

Going back to school while working on your freelance business may be a good idea. Your schedule is flexible, especially if you find an online program. And you can borrow money for your living expenses and tuition, so your work schedule can be eased a bit (assuming you were working in the first place).

About a month ago I took the plunge. Having been a substitute teacher for more than 8 years, I figured it was high time I got my teaching certification. I found an online program at a local small college, and things are moving along pretty smoothly. The only thing I didn’t count on was how much work an online program really requires. Because you don’t have to show up for class everyday, there are a lot of assignments to turn in.

But I think it’ll be worth it in the long run. If I need to have a “real job” at some point, teaching is a career that will allow me to mimic my daughter’s potential school schedule (vacations and such). At the same time, I’m more convinced than ever that I want to (somehow) homeschool her.

Time will tell. In the meantime, my days are filled with studying, taking care of my daughter, and servicing my clients.

Have you considered going back to school? Why or why not?

Being the parent of a small child can mean that time is a rare and valuable commodity. In my case, my daughter is now four years old, but we’ve had challenges finding adequate childcare. Part of the reason is because, in my heart, I’d rather not send her to school. My dream is to be a homeschooler. But I recognize that she loves being with other kids, and I’m pretty boring since I’m on the computer all of the time.

The other reason adequate childcare has been an issue is because I don’t have the most compliant child in the world. She prefers to do things her own way, which can be a challenge in the preschool setting. Her idea of fun is to do the opposite of what she’s told. Not usually in defiance (though sometimes), but usually because it’s just more interesting for her.

I refuse to “break” her and make her comply for the sake of complying. So I’ve changed schools a few times, and I recently changed teachers. I think this new teacher “gets” my daughter’s spirit, and so things are working out beautifully (for now). Unfortunately, this teacher only has an opening two days a week.

How do I find time to write/work/make money then? It’s tough! And with a child who wakes up at the crack of dawn, I am up early. And I’m not a night owl like I used to be in my younger days.

Here’s what I do.

I do what I can. And I try to push myself to do a little more than I think I can. My latest plan involves scheduling certain activities for each day. Not a rigid schedule, but I won’t try to write on my blog, cold call prospects, follow-up with prospects, write articles, edit articles, and go to the zoo all on the same day. Whenever I try to do that I often wind up doing absolutely nothing. It’s too overwhelming.

How’s it working for me? It’s still a bit overwhelming to try to make myself pare down my million-things list into smaller, more manageable chunks, but it’s a learning process and I’m trying. I think that’s what counts.

What about you? What are your strategies for writing with limited time?

Sometimes it makes sense to follow your instincts. In my case, working outside of the home while my daughter went to preschool just wasn’t feeling right. Besides, I was only working part-time (not near my house). And my brilliant 4-year-old figured out how to get sent home every other day or so (if she acts up, they send her home…great incentive to misbehave, don’t you think?)

So it’s back to working from home, which is where my heart is anyway.

I’ve got a few plans and ideas to make this work this time.

Blogging is a great way to make a little income, and for some it can be more than just a little. I’m going to get back to blogging basics, which includes article marketing, affiliate programs, and flat out advertising. I have to regain my PageRank so I can be more competitive. I will also take advantage of the various blogging classes offered online, some for free, and some not. I can figure it out all by myself, but it makes sense to also learn from others’ mistakes and successes.

My writing/editing business will be transformed into a marketing consultant business. And of course that means more cold calls, cold emails, and networking.

Speaking of networking, I’ll continue to enhance my brand using Twitter, and I’ll consider using Facebook and LinkedIn as well.

I’m also considering doing some in-home childcare, but that will take careful thought and planning. Babies are pretty easy, but they still require full-time attention. There’s an after-school crowd in my neighborhood, though, so maybe some latch-key babysitting and tutoring will work better.

Lots of work ahead of me, but being home for my daughter is worth it. Homeschooling is my ultimate goal, and with determination I know we can do it. Wish us luck, check back here often, follow us on Twitter, and tell your friends/colleagues to visit too.

What is your heart’s desire? Are you working toward that goal?

Crayon Writer is officially two years old! Happy Anniversary, Crayon Writer!

Though I haven’t been writing as often as I used to, I’m proud to have made it to the 2-year mark. Now it’s time to reexamine my goals, both for this blog and my life and hopefully that will help me keep Crayon Writer going for another year.

When I first started this adventure, I just wanted a place to talk about my life as a work-at-home single mother. But as my daughter grows and changes, I’m finding that I do too. Working from home is still my goal, but it may not be a reality in the near future.

My daughter’s already been going to preschool, and kindergarten is right around the corner. She’s turning into a lovely, independent child, who often prefers to “go somewhere,” preferably without Mommy hanging around. On the other hand, I’m still not keen on sending her to school for 10 hours a day, so I have to have some type of home-based work (along with a part-time job).

So join us in our next adventure(s)! This year, with my daughter as a 4-year-old, things are going to be exciting. There’ll be adventures in babysitting, possibly a move to a new state, interesting jobs, and definitely some freelance copywriting gigs.

Thanks for being part of our lives these past couple of years!

I’m going to break one of the long-standing “rules” of blogging. But it’s no problem, especially since the blogosphere is ever-changing.

One of the first things I learned was to never explain why you were away so long. Well, I’ve had some loyal readers who might actually want an explanation…at least, I’d want to know what happened if I were in your shoes.

When my blog was regularly updated, I had loads of time on my hands. But then I started working an 8-5 job (sometimes I worked 7 days a week), and I had to prioritize. As a single mother, when I got home at 5:30 or 6:00, my only priorty was spending quality time with my daughter. When she went to bed, it became wind down time and/or get all my household chores done before I crashed.

So there you have it! My first blogging rule disobeyed. Hope you didn’t mind too much.

Hopefully, with the help of that huge post-it note, I’ll find a way to get back to blogging. While you’re waiting, feel free to go back and read some earlier posts. I’ll be doing the same, hoping to get inspired once again.

“I’m Barack Obama. I’m the President!” said my three-year-old daughter yesterday. Isn’t it wonderful that we can finally say that one day she actually could be president?

I was born in the early 70′s, and didn’t experience as much of the blatant racism my parents and others have, but I’ve seen my share.

My mother remembers traveling down south from Michigan when she was a teen, and having to eat unrefrigerated food because restaurants didn’t serve Blacks.

My grandmother, who looked white, was able to eat in a restaurant once, while her husband had to wait outside. I’m guessing he felt it more important that his wife be able to eat even if he couldn’t.

My mother also remembers not knowing the rules in the south, and having strangers (Black) pull her off the sidewalk when a white person approached. She and her sisters also had to use disgustingly dirty restrooms because, of course, they couldn’t use the white restrooms on their trip down south.

And for me, I remember being spit on by a white man when my parents pulled up next to his truck at a stoplight. That was in the 80s, in Michigan, when I was just a kid.

Just 2 years ago a stranger, a white man, asked me if my daughter’s father was Black too. When I told him Yes, he was so happy! He said something like, “Good! Too many people try to mix the races.” A complete stranger!

I say all this to say that I’m still in awe that this country will have a Black president in a very short time. It’s finally sinking in that this is real. That people were tortured and killed for this to happen. And amazed and humbled that my daughter will grow up in this (hopefully) new age.

I know that racism isn’t gone. Far from it. I live in a pretty racist town, which is part of the reason I believe I haven’t been able to find a decent job (along with this being a bad economy…it’s not all about race, I know). We still have work to do, and hopefully people won’t think this wipes the slate clean.

But for now I’m just so humbled and almost speechless at what his election has accomplished. I just wish Dr. King and others were here to witness this miracle. What a great time to be an American!